Pure Hatred for EPT

I. Hate. EPT. Home. Pregnancy. Tests.

For about 6 hours yesterday, I let myself believe that I was pregnant thanks to a stupid EPT home pregnancy test. 6 pregnancy tests later...I am not pregnant. I will admit that for those 6 hours, I was in heaven, pure heaven.

So, what is wrong with me that I can't read a pregnancy test???? EPT has these dashed lines in their results window. A negative sign means you're not preggers, a positive sign means you are. Well, of course, the negative sign appeared right away but there were these four very small dots right above the negative sign in the middle, that made it look like it was starting to form a positive sign. I ran out to the living room and showed B and he wasn't sure. He said that he thought they were just specks and that is was probably a negative. But I could also sense a change in him. I think deep down, he didn't want to get his hopes high but thought "what-if?" We went out to dinner and we joked about stuff pertaining to my "possible pregnancy." Looking back on it, what was I thinking?

We came back home and I took another test, this one by Fact Plus. And it displayed a big, fat negative. I tried to think positive, that maybe the Fact Plus was a cheapie and it didn't detect the hcG hormone that early. You see, my periods are kinda of screwed up. Normally, they are around 30 - 31 days but when I was on injections last Nov., Mr. Grumpy showed up on cycle day 26. He was such an ass that month!! CD26 for me equals 11DPIUI (11 days post-IUI). I'll never forget peeing in a cup and seeing a small amount of blood. Silly me thought it was implantation bleeding when it was my f'in period.

This morning, I took 3 more pregnancy tests, all negative. THANK GOD I got them on clearance at Harris Teeter a few months ago and bought a ton. And yes, I checked the expiration date and they don't expire until the end of 2011. I guess the three negatives this morning wasn't enough for me. I went out and bought another box of pregnancy tests a little while ago. This time I bought First Response because they are supposed to be the most sensitive and the only one that can detect hcG 6 days before your missed period. HA!! What a waste of money. Another f'in negative.

Today is CD25 (10dpiui) for me. I realize that it might be too early to test but then again, Mr. Grumpy might show up tomorrow.

I am so sick and tired and of playing this infertility game. My boobs hurt like a mother f'er and I am getting ready to sit back with a bag of Double-Stuff Oreos and my caffeine-free Diet Coke (just in case) and watch an afternoon full of Ally McBeal episodes. It's 79 degrees outside and I should be outside doing something but I am just too damn depressed. Now if you will excuse me, there's an Oreo calling my name.