I am tired of being a pin cushion without getting any results. I know I should stop my whining but this is my blog so here it comes...
Month 3 of Clomid and I am off to my Dr.'s office this morning for my usual blood work. Well, my wonderfully incompetent Dr. forgets to put her request for this in the lab station's computers, so I end up sitting there for a freakin hour while the technicians see every other person but me...oh wait...every other soon-to-be mommy but me (who's not a soon-to-be mommy). Every woman that I was forced to sit with was pregnant. There was the husband and wife couple who were getting some blood work done before the ultrasound. There was the older mommy (40+), the younger mommy (20+) and my absolute favorite..the mommy who brought a mini-DVD player with her, popped in a DVD, closed her eyes and rubbed her belly non-stop for 15 minutes!! Yes, she closed her eyes while watching a DVD?? Bryan thinks that I was being petty and jealous and that I should be happy for all of them. I guess I would have been under a normal circumstance but sitting there for so long made one of my feet fall asleep and that just pissed me off!!! ;)
So why do I hate the needles? No, I ma not one of those people who can't stand needles or shots. Most of the time I barely feel them. And often I find myself even watching the needles actually go in (I must be insane). What I mind is the phone call saying, "Lori, we received your blood work and you had very high progesterone levels. You definitely ovulated." Well, if I "definitely ovulated," why isn't there a definite baby in my belly?
I know this sounds very selfish of me to be saying this and I don't mean to sound ungrateful that I am ovulating. I am thankful that I am ovulating especially since my DR. diagnosed me with PCOS and told me that I was not ovulated. I guess I am just scared that it is something other than PCOS. If there is something else wrong with me, I want to know it now damn it. If I can't have children, tell me. I may hate you for telling me but that's another story.
My siblings have Bryan and I competing with them to see who can lose the most weight before the end of the year. My sis thinks it will do me some good to take my mind off of trying to have a baby.
Will it work? Who knows...but right now all I can think about it peeing on that stick in 2 days!!
ON A SIDE NOTE: My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone affected by the collapsed bridge in MN. What a terrible and sad event.
1 comment:
Oh, sweetie. Hugs, hugs, and more hugs.
I hate going to the gynie's office. All the expectant mommy's are glowing and shiny; the happy people on one side of the room. And on the opposite side, usually in the corner, you have those of us visiting for some form of infertility or blood work. AGAIN.
One of our local clinics actually has separate waiting areas for the pregnant & infertile couples. I thought it was a nice touch, & very sensitive of the staff to realize how hard it is for those of us still waiting.
Did you ever get an ultrasound done, to get a definite look at your ovaries? If not, I *highly* recommend you bully your doctor into doing one. It will rule out endometriosis, and help set your worried mind at ease (which is worth millions).
I know you're doing everything in your power to get pregnant. And it's easy to say . . . but I really found staying positive to help me this month.
We're really hoping for you & B. Some day, all of us good people will have the babies we want. And all of this will have been worth it.
Post a Comment